It Just Got Real

May 16, 2023

Before I tell you about my future (it starts tomorrow) let me tell you about my weekend.

Warning, there’s some real/sensitive details ahead. I want to be fully transparent in what I share. I want you to know what it’s really like so that if you’re facing this battle, you have some insight and some encouragement for your fight. -Tamika

My Friday evening and Saturday were great compared to the last two weeks. I wasn’t in nearly as much pain, and I felt so much relief from the paracentesis. I new it wouldn’t last, so I savored every moment! I felt like eating real food and got to spend some quality time with my family.

Saturday night I started feeling crappy again. The pain med I had taken wore off and it is hard to describe exactly how bad it felt. That night I noticed that my abdomen was swelling again, but only on the lower right side. I chose to sleep and wait to see how this looked in the morning.

Sunday morning the swelling was bad. It wrapped around my right side and down into my right labia. It was swollen, hard and painful. I also woke up with cramps in both legs! it’s a great way to wake up on Mother’s Day. 🙁

The swelling continued to get worse throughout the day. by 1 o’clock we were calling around talking to doctors and figuring out if we needed to go to the emergency room. I was seriously worried that my labia was going to fall off! i’m laughing as I’m writing this, I can’t believe I thought that 🤣 but I’m only laughing because I talked to my oncologist nurse today after being checked out, and she assured me not to worry. That things would get better after I started chemo and that my labia was not going to fall off! 😭

Laughing aside, my general recommended I go get a lymphatic massage. Yes, I bothered her on Mother’s Day and I felt bad. But she was super sweet, and I was able to find someone to give me a massage with a last minute appointment on Monday. It definitely helped release some fluid, and also helped me go poop after being constipated for three days.

Now About The Future

Today I got a phone call from the oncologist office to schedule my first chemo treatment tomorrow. I cried. William and Micah both gave me a big hugs after we scheduled the appointment for 8:00am.

I got another call to see the nurse today and check out my fluid retention. She was patient with me and answered every question I had. She reminded me that after I start chemo that I will see some relief from the fluid buildup. She also gave me a tour of the treatment room where I’ll be spending my chemo days, and all I could think is ‘I just want to leave this place’.

They printed my schedule and William took my hand and walked me and my gimpy body to the car. We went and got a smoothie and talked and cried a little before driving home.

Me  Crazy Schedule

  • Wednesday at 8 AM – Chemo Round One
  • Thursday at 2 PM – Nuelasta Injection
  • Friday at 1:30 PM – Paracentesis #3

So that’s my schedule for this week. And with all of the above said, I don’t want to do any of this again. I do have peace, and I’m trying to remind myself to have a good attitude and face this head on. So thank you for all your prayers and encouragement, it makes a world of difference.